I went crazy last night...

Last night, I was suffering from a psychological nervous system breakdown or whatever you call it..I was telling justin that I'm going crazy and I might suffer from depression..

Well..you see...when we got home last night, I started throwing things around in the house and Justin was really shocked...I started screaming and stuff...Then I took a super long shower and I came out..telling Justin I wanted to sleep.

Then we said a prayer and I started crying at the end of the prayer. Justin was really really shocked to see me like that. I was crying because I felt Christ and Heavenly Father's Love for me in my heart.

I felt so empty for the past few days...like I'm so lonely, like nobody loves me...I felt like everyone doesn't care for me...nobody cares for me.....................nobody........but at the end of the prayer, I felt that I'm still being loved by our Heavenly Father. No matter what I do, He'll always loves me....

So Justin started to console me and I asked him lots of weird questions like "Is it true that everyone hates me?" and he was like "NO!!!" I even asked him "Does he loves me?" I was really going crazy with all these thoughts in my mind. Justin said my brain is controlling me and he thinks I'm really going crazy. I started to lie down on the floor, looking like someone from woodbridge hospital. He lied down beside me too, telling me that everybody loves me and my family still loves me and Keshia loves me because she's so fierce last night, telling him to pick me up (haha!) etc etc... I felt so much comforted after hearing all these. I'm a woman after all, I need encouragement and praises at all time to give me more confidence with myself. I was throwing things around because I wanted his attention. Seriously, my mentality wasn't in the right place last night..

After a long good sleep, I'm feeling much better now. I guess it might be because I haven't had any good sleep for the past few nights and my brain is suffering from some breakdown or what. Well, I'm not siao lah...but it will just happen sometimes and I always need Justin to comfort me and to cool me down. I think this is normal in human beings.

I'm excited that Justin, me and Keshia are watching Dance Evolution at the SCERA theatre in OREM tomorrow. It's a combination of ballroom, jazz, and hiphop. I'm so looking forward to it. I just love DANCE! I'm also happy that I could use this to write my jazz dance critic paper, yeah! I hope this brand new week will be a happier week for me. Last week was too sad for me to remember..........so if you see me in school or wherever next time, hug me and tell me you love me, that would really help! I'm serious! Isn't this what our VT message for this month? Be the instruments in God's Hands! We would never knew that simple things we've done would help others. My VT came by just now and told me that she's always very happy to see me because I'm always looking so happy. I never knew that my smile and happiness would make her feel better. I'm so glad that I've done that. Actually, I don't know why people always tell me that I always look happy. Really? But I'm not happy all the time........?

However, I'm happy that I could write all my feelings down in my blog....Thanks for "listening" to me, my dear blog... I LOVE YOU AND I LOVE ALL OF YOU WHO READ MY BLOG! :D